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@JKNenagh: 7: Dad what does this word mean Me: Bring me a dictionary *Smack up side the head Me: Now go google that shit
@funnybeachgirl: Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac
@TrueTorontoGirl: Boss: Have I made myself clear? Me: No, I can still see you. Boss: Shakes head.
@PastorBate: Sea cucumbers are actually animals, so regular cucumbers are either lying or they need to step their game up.