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@kashanacauley: What we've learned from this skittles incident is that we should all stop eating refugees.
@john_vavra: GF: ...I'm pregnant ME: *holding a 10-piece chicken nuggets box that actually has 11 nuggets* I've also got some pretty big news
@dave_cactus: ME: Sorry I'm late, I had computer problems. BOSS: Hard drive? ME: Nah, there was no traffic, just the computer problems.