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@sixfootcandy: Kid: How did you meet daddy? Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...
@callie_cakes: Ex picked up the kids, brought me coffee & took out my trash. This divorce thing is really working out for me.
@SladeBlue: Forget waterboarding... I'm ready to tell this damn popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth everything it wants to know.
@GavsonNZ: To the account who followed me while I slept and then unfollowed me before I woke. My apologies for taking a break. It won't happen again!