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@DanKCharnley: If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop.
@Marcmywords2: "You can't have your cake and eat
People that don't know how cake
@DanMentos: "Hey girl wanna go out Saturday night?"
No thanks I have a previous engagement
"I'm cool with that, hell I've been married like 6 times"
@UrbanDouchebag: Hug a tree. Then rub your hands along it's trunk and tell it how knotty it is.
@meganamram: Trump is a plant by the NRA to make liberals want to shoot someone