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@ArfMeasures: ME: *stuffs sock down my pants to impress my date* DATE: I'm not that impressed ME: I should have done it before you got here
@JohnLyonTweets: Sorry I overreacted when we both reached for the last piece of pecan pie. I had no idea a fork could penetrate so far into a human forearm.
@thenatewolf: *First day as an exorcist* ME: [voice a bit louder than normal] Just gonna put this GHOST PIE on top of this harmless pile of leaves. Sure hope no GHOSTS see it...