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@Audenary: BOUNCER: Sorry, buddy - planets only. PLUTO: I'm on the list. BOUNCER: Nope. *Jurassic World walks in* PLUTO: Oh you cannot be serious.
@Mr_Kapowski: Honestly Officer, the pharmacy ran out of those orange pill bottles so they just gave it to me in this plastic baggie.
@MatCro: [Couples therapy] WIFE: I hate the way he pronounces "food" like "feud". THERAPIST: And you, sir? ME: She's always in a bad mude.