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@jasonroeder: When you're accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don't reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago.
@rationalists: Republicans say they're not satisfied with Michele Obama's speech because she didn't give it from her kitchen.
@TheToddWilliams: [Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force