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@WhiskeySoured: If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die.
@Be___Dope: [on the phone] Me: *whispers* I think my CW knows I'm high. CW: You know you're talking to a banana right?
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm just a girl, with a baseball bat, smashing my internet modem into a gazillion pieces.