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@MartinPilgrim1: 1.Not leaving my room 2.Not leaving the house 3.Missing someone's birthday party My childhood punishments have become my adult hobbies.
@AmericanGent69: Wife: You clearly have a favorite child by the way you named them. Me: Not true. I love both equally. Mary: Thanks Dad Mistake: I hate you
@MableGertrude: Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks.