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@erica_rosie: Just received a thank-you card from someone I sent a thank-you card to. Oh, it's on.
@FrogAvalanche: "How's the wine?" "House red?" "Yes." *sips, swills, spits* "Wow it's got too much body." "Sorry, I should have evicted the tenants first."
@JohnLyonTweets: [first day as a Twitter designer] Never mind an edit button. What people really want are round avis.
@HatfieldAnne: Did I tell you about the time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose? No? One time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose.