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@ArfMeasures: ME: I'll put a sexy movie on DATE: Good idea *presses play* D: Shrek? M: omg embarrassing D: Haha M: [fumbling with DVD] Meant to be Shrek 2
@underchilde: Today we’ll be discussing near-death experiences and why not to talk to your girlfriend about weight gain.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Vicodin: For when you absolutely have to apple scissors badger trampoline Connie seven accept substitute no steak fries
@HeyitsLori: A guy laughed at me because I only have a 19" TV. I suggested we not laugh about how many inches things are. That shut him up.