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@LizHackett: "Excuse the mess; we had guests," I graciously explain, leaving out the "five months ago" part.
@RoosterMustache: I hate when my phone corrects "hood morning" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today.
@XplodingUnicorn: I respected tiger sharks a lot more after I realized how many hurdles tigers and sharks had to overcome to breed with each other.
@shaztaberry: Daughter: dad Im a lesbian Dad: Okay its cool 2nd daughter: dad I'm a lesbian too Dad: Does ANYone in this family like guys? Son: I do