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@slimmy_shady: Wife smelled eggs and thought I was bringing her breakfast in bed. How do I tell her it was just me with gas?!
@bakedbrotatoes: -You talkin to my girl? *pops knuckles* -What if I am? *cracks neck* *dislocates shoulder* *breaks collarbone* *fractures skull*
@MarioInAZ: Had this weird dream last night that I was Superman, but I was only able to fly really low to the ground because I'm chubby.