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@pleatedjeans: *gets down on 1 knee* OMG *puts 2nd knee down* WHAT? *lays on floor* JIM? *snake noises* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *slithers out of relationship*
@SveldtSmelt: Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming.
@NervousJr: "I can't wait until this one orange erases years of poor eating choices." -me, dieting