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@lecalabara: Well at least the world isn't spinning uncontrollably around a huge ball of fire.
Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange.
@lacybronze1: I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
@iRowlf: It's not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you've reached your destination.
@davedittell: LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for