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@Parentpains: Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too.
@TheDeducers: *Me ordering food, wearing a new white shirt* I'll have whatever is the most splattery and red
@simoncholland: Me: You know, one nice thing about being snowed in all weekend is we haven't had to spend any money. Wife: (clicking add to cart) So nice.
@RollAroundSue: Finished my 2nd glass of wine. Husband doesn't know it yet but he has a 30 second window of getting laid before I pass ou