@GirlPetunia: Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
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@1_swarthy_dude: Me:*smashes car window to rescue baby* Her:"WTF I was getting the stroller from the trunk!" Me:"Yeah, but you had Coldplay on the radio."
@vineyille: My hateful coworkers discovered that I eat my lunch in the air ducts and now they've taken to smacking the air ducts with a broom.
@iGreenMonk: Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.