@jabba_jabba_jaw: Hug your children. Hug your friends and family. Hug the cashier at Chipotle. Hug someone else's children. Hug the arresting officer.
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@matt_simpson84: My wife and I have an ongoing game called "Wipe Boogers on Stuff in the House" that she doesn't know we are playing
@Liffonmelsmork: It's getting cold in here So take off all your clothes Then we can make a fire with them
@truegritrumble: ME: Can I borrow your car? FRIEND: You already borrowed my car. ME: *nervously* Can I borrow another one?