@weinerdog4life: Huge sale this weekend, we have too many mountain lions, please come buy a mountain lion, this was a horrible business plan, one guy got ate
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@xLiserx: 1 of the 7 newly discovered planets has already been declassified after discovering it was merely Pluto wearing high heels & sunglasses.
@TheTweetOfGod: Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you've already screwed it up.
@stevevsninjas: Fox: Winter is here. We need a plan to survive. Bear: I have a great idea! We just sleep until spring. Goose: Wanna hear migrate idea?
@VodkaTiem: I don't know who put chairs in the elevator, but that's a kind of laziness that I can respect.