@weinerdog4life: Huge sale this weekend, we have too many mountain lions, please come buy a mountain lion, this was a horrible business plan, one guy got ate
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog, but you want to make them sad instead.
@SardonicTart: Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he's named after a religious bundle of hay.
@3KidsNoJoke: Biden: I locked him in the bathroom, run! Obama: Joe! You can't...Give me the keys! Joe! Joe: WHEEEE! #bidenmeme #Election2016
@krishna_van: "Look on the bright side - at least there's more for us to drink with him gone" is, apparently, not something one should say at a wake.