@Bunnydurden: Hugs not drugs. Except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?
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@WillHinsa: My new years resolution is to stop biting my toenails. Nervous habit I picked up during all these meetings at work.
@a_olivia4212: We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter.
@AlexRogaski: Me: Yes honey.. I know.. a stroller for the baby. I got it. *hangs up* Salesman: As I was saying, the largest hamster ball we sell is a-
@TheRealNickKay: SON: [Stood by tree with apple on head] Dad, what ever happened to my three younger brothers? WILLIAM TELL: [Aiming arrow] ....Chicken pox