@Bunnydurden: Hugs not drugs. Except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?
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@ericsshadow: If Donald Trump becomes President, The rest of us should be able to just walk into any hospital & start working as doctors
@therealeatwood: ME: Leave me alone! You’re not my real dad! CRAWDAD: [patiently] I am doing my best to raise you on my own. Now eat your plankton.
@bgirl314: 5: Mommy can we pee in the pool? M: NO! Neighbors kid: Why? M: Because pee mixed with chlorine produces sharks and they'll eat and kill you.
@ItsJusKimberly: [doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door "no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"