@Smooheed: Huh, this is a first
Never had an ambulance follow me to the gym before
They must know
@OhNoSheTwitnt: How many people in America do you think I can trick into believing that Brexit is the name of one of Sarah Palin's kids?
@Jackiethepaper: Grandma's funeral ft. Pitbull
@MrPhetz: Why did my ex gf Fav my tweet where I announced that I got laid off. Why did you do that sharon
@JRobb773: I'm a very honest person except when HR asks if I'm the one trying to weaponize the pigeons outside my office.
@stoneman67: I don't mind the thought of guardian angels watching over me. I just want them to stop giggling when I shower.