@illuminatedwndr: "Huh?" - Wonder Woman
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@danjan13: No, I can't come to your wedding. I just realized the remote works through the blanket.
@sucittaM: Watching my mother-in-law order at Starbucks is like watching a drunk gorilla try to start a car with a french fry.
@jwoodham: The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven't worked out all the bugs yet.
@SqueakyFreckles: This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl.