@caperbc75: Hulk Hogan walks into a tanning salon and drops a saddle on the counter. "Make me look like this brother!"
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@Carbosly: Have we tried unplugging coma victims and plugging them in again? Works for my computer.
@CM2BTTHD: CPR refresher class. We're told, "If they're not breathing, there's no way you can make it worse." Woman then trips; kicks dummy's head off.
@Ideal_Victoria: It's official... My voice is incapable of making, "Thanks. I appreciate that" not sound sarcastic.
@BigHeb7: Whenever I'm about to get in a bar fight, I give a karate bow to my opponent in hopes he gets scared and backs out before I piss myself.