@caperbc75: Hulk Hogan walks into a tanning salon and drops a saddle on the counter. "Make me look like this brother!"
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@NicCageMatch: The turkey is the luckiest one at the Thanksgiving table because it's already dead.
@ashmensch: "I'm gonna make you so happy, baby. And then I'm gonna make you real sad." - gas station nachos
@Tharin_P: Brain: he must study-how? *Hormones raise hand* H: we could hit him with pimples, kill the social life? B: *whispers* It's for his own good.
@Douchekevin: Anyone who says 'they wish they could be a fly on the wall' has clearly never been attacked by a woman with a rolled up newspaper.