@_youhadonejob: Human logic.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: [pet therapy] THERAPIST: ok slow ME: *pets 2 dogs* T: just 1 M: *pets 3 dogs* T: Nurse, restrain him, he’s M: *pets 4 dogs* T: roverdosing
@causticbob: You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb.
@laurenreeves: My sister asked if I stole her cream sweater. Uh, yeah. Who else would've stolen it? You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"
@audipenny: Oh no I got so excited that you texted me that I accidentally replied 11 thousand times and then swung into your house on a rope