@skadel68: Human Resources just came up with a cool new term for just about everything I like to do at work. They call it "inappropriate"
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@ruinedpicnic: "you look nice" - sweet potato "im so high" - baked potato "you suck!" - roast potato "what have I done" - guy who made talking potatoes
@animaldrumss: Jesus: Those were the times when I carried you son Me: And when the vending machine ate my dollar? Jesus: That time you bought me a Snickers
@chuuew: ME: I'm as strong as a box! HER: Surely you mean "ox"? ME: [easily collapses after getting wet from tears]
@AnkCoupleTO: Picking a Xmas gift for your wife is hard, so I've decided to deplete our bank account, fake my own death & move to Thailand She'll love it