@skadel68: Human Resources just came up with a cool new term for just about everything I like to do at work. They call it "inappropriate"
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@Amusitr0n: [shady nighttime meeting at the aquarium] AQUARIUM EMPLOYEE: eels are already pretty slippery man ME: shut up and help me butter them
@Gre_Gone: [loudly in front of a bunch of ducks] "OH NO I SEEM TO HAVE BROUGHT TOO MUCH BREAD WITH ME WHATEVER SHALL I DO?" *ducks try to play it cool*
@Vodkantots: At this point in my life, my biological clock isn't so much ticking as it is knitting.
@stephenjmolloy: [Date] Karen: "You okay?" Ian: "I'm undressing you in my mind" K: "Okay... you look confused!" I: "I've never seen a bra strap like this"