@lecalabara: Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts.
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@CuppleOthoughts: Biden: We need theme music when we walk into a room Obama: Joe be professional Biden: STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, CRAZY MOTHER- #BidenMemes
@Izianikapani: I got hooked on Italian food in high school after my dealer sold me a bag of oregano.
@StevieKnip: Me: I hit the ejector seat and sent her through the roof by accident Cop: you're under arrest. I'm taking you to jail Me: let's take my car
@gingerfaced: I wish snacks could talk so they could verify my whereabouts from 1 am to 3 am this morning.