@lecalabara: Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts.
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@thecrabbyhook: You know how one lie leads to another? Well, to cut a long story short, my 7yo daughter now thinks she's allergic to owls.
@DaddyJew: *sees gf upset* Me: she looks mad, I should say something Brain: lol tell her she's overreacting Me: ok
@RobSprance: If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken.
@WineMummy: The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian.