@lecalabara: Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts.
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@TheWoodenslurpy: If I commit suicide, it’ll be for a shallow reason, like unrequited texts. But the note I leave will mention world hunger at least 11 times.
@Home_Halfway: COMEDY FAN: Ugh their set was only 95% new material, lame MUSIC FAN: Oh man I hope they play my favorite song that they've played 71,000 times
@thatUPSdude: Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants. Everyone heard you leaving.