@JermHimselfish: Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can't remember the lyrics.
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@jergarl: You're doing really well now please pull into this liquor store do you want anything? -Me as a Drivers Ed teacher
@noog: I wish I had a little robot companion that put his arm out and shook his head at people who tried to talk to me before lunch.
@BatmanOffDuty: *buying a dog* Is this a good dog? "Oh yeah, very good dog." Do any tricks? "No, I'm clean, selling dogs now."