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@ericsshadow: HUNDRED DOLLAR IDEA:
Go to an ATM.
@SardonicTart: Jurassic World is so unrealistic. Like a teenager would ever just drop his cell phone while being chased by a dinosaur.
@Dawn_M_: Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them.
@DannyZuker: Wait, so when couples are in custody battles it's to KEEP the kids? #WTF
@JasonBerlin: Every man was once a man trapped in a woman's body.
@XplodingUnicorn: Sometimes I wonder how such beautiful kids can really be mine.
Then my 4-year-old opens a door and runs into the door frame.
Then I know.