@Gooooats: Hurricanes should have scary names that instill a proper sense of alarm. Names like GOLTOG HARVESTER OF SOULS or Britni.
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@FavoritesYou: Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup? Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!
@dafloydsta: [wedding] "Anyone know why these two should not be joined in marriage?" ME: *from back* THEY'RE DOING A CASH BAR *priest drops bible*
@kelkulus: A dating app called "Hinder" where some guy shows up in the middle of every date and ruins everything.