@Monathais: Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!
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@bencoffeehall: My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that.
@KyleMcDowell86: [Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle
@BuckyIsotope: BILLY CORGAN: the world is a vampire ME: wouldn't it explode into flames as soon as the sun hit it then? BILLY: shut up *runs off crying*