@Monathais: Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!
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@bobbiejo448: Every time I use <3 in an @ to someone, I can't help but think, "Please accept this carrot with balls as a token of how much I heart you."
@danozzi: When brands use cool words like "bae" on social media, I drive straight to their nearest location with all my money, ready to buy products.