@cuckoo_cachu: Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA.
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@osigat: People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous.
@ItsJennaMarbles: Running away doesnt help you with your problems, unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: He’s starting to stir! Wife: Shhhh. Me: OH MY GOD… Wife: Be quiet. Me: HE’S GOT A KNIFE! Wife: I hate watching cooking shows with you.