@cuckoo_cachu: Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA.
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@Reverend_Scott: GUY: I wish girls liked comics. GIRL: I love comics. GUY: Oh really? Then what's the Hulk's favorite flavor ice cream?
@RamblingMachine: A truck with the slogan "We always go the extra mile" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it "because we missed the exit" as a revenge.
@werehedgehog: Bae: Come over. Romeo: Can't. You're a Capulet, I'm a Montague. Bae: Deny thy father and refuse thy name; come over. Romeo: Also, you're 13.