@cuckoo_cachu: Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA.
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@BarryVonAwesome: The Hurricane came through here like a tornado -Lady on the News just now I don't want to live on this planet anymore
@iamburtjarvis: [2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT