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@qwertying: Husband: How about a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
@jdbalani: I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
@T_Bonezzz: "One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service"
- Abraham LinkedIn
@TweetsByTheTony: [ouija board]
Who are you?
*board begins spelling*
What the -- a Luigi Board?!
@Tayallderdice: U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months
@Try2StopME: Customer care: Your call is important to us, please hold on.
Customer: *completes graduation* *gets a job* *gets married* *gets old* *dies*