@VerifiedBakchod: "I < 3 You" means I'm smaller than 3 of you.
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@rzarosco: Nice try weed people... Are we just supposed to legalize anything that comes from the ground? What's next potatoes?
@Seinfeld2000: 7 thoughts u have when buzfeed steals ur content -WTF -OMG -Huh -FAIL -LOL -NOPE -why is a multimilion dollar website riping off my twiter
@causticbob: I took a girl back to my flat. "You haven't removed many bras have you?" she sighed. "What gave it away?" "The scissors, mainly."
@JimmySelfDest: I tripped over the dog a second ago and am hurting a little.Web md has it narrowed down to a sprained uterus or a dislocated cervix. So..