@megbada: I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My mother-in-law talked non-stop while we watched Criminal Minds and now I have an idea for a cool new episode.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: (Rushes to hospital) Dr: Your mother is extremely critical. Me: Don't overreact doctor, she's like that with everyone.