@megbada: I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them.
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@MatCro: [murder scene] MORGAN FREEMAN: there are 7 deadly sins: Pride, greed, envy, lust, wrath and gl– [sees victim wearing crocs] There are 8 dea
@iamspacegirl: ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u
@ShootyDoody: First Date: Him: So, are you a dog person or a cat person? Me: (already cleaning him with my tongue)