@radtoria: I accidentally answered my phone & panicked when I heard someone say "hello?" so I just did the best I could & made the fax machine noise.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: *finds a picture she drew* Why was this in the trash? Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.
@UncleDuke1969: "Mom?" "Yes?" "Are we having seafood for dinner?" "No, why?" "I heard Dad on the phone." "And?" "He said that he picked up a case of crabs."
@mikescollins: Just convinced my Mom she won't get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn't see Teen Wolf first. Please play along.
@summerofbenny: I have a huge gash in my forehead. I'm going to assume I got up in the middle of the night, fought some crime, and went back to bed.