@simoncholland: I accidentally called it an eternity scarf instead of an infinity scarf and now I have to drink my Starbucks outside.
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@SaltyCorpse: My son got a Country Boy sticker for his truck. I wrote "but I live on a golf course and I'm afraid of cows" under it bc I don't like lies.
@AnkCoupleTO: Embrace her crazy and she'll love you forever or until she kills you, whichever comes first
@seamussaid: son you're getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own; bathing the cat for starters
@blade_funner: wife: I'm having a baby. me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have a baby as well.