@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.
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@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.
@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.