@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.
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@trustmedaddy: My favorite part of going out is when I sneak out the club without saying bye to anyone to go home and sleep
@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one
@girl_a_whirl: [invasion] *aircrafts dropping from the sky *explosions everywhere *mass hysteria Me scrolling phone: Where was that alien invader gif?
@drunkNnaughty: I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.