@tastefactory: I accidentally heated my Hot Pocket for 20:00 instead of 2:00 and now there's a giant radioactive Hot Pocket in my apartment watching my tv
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@TheAlexNevil: I don't trust a restaurant that advertises "Now with more bacon!" because it means they were holding out on me to begin with.
@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
@Its_Miss_Riss: Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel.
@longwall26: I scream. You scream. We all scream. We're being chased by bears. Life is a nightmare.