@BonaFideIntent: I accidentally hit my ex-girlfriend today going 85mph with my car on purpose.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DannyZuker: Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section.
@truegritrumble: ME: This is my newborn, straight from the hospital. OTHER PARENT: You're parenting wrong.
@Brianhopecomedy: I told my Mom that I was going to the Apple store and she said, "You sound like you're 4 - it's the grocery store".
@LurkAtHomeMom: My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining.