@wilw: I accidentally inhaled some soap when I was washing my face and then I coughed and no bubbles came out. Cartoons are full of shit.
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@chuuew: 911: What's you're emergency? ME: You mean "your"? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone's murdering me 911: You mean "murdered" ME:.. 911: [dial tone]
@EJGomez: [introducing you to my family] "this is my son Carson, my daughter Boatdaughter, & our dog Motorcyclepet"