@RidiculousSheri: I accidentally kicked my cat off of the bed while adjusting my blankets. Now he's in the corner sadly humming a Sarah McLachlan song.
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@HavocMantis: *repeatedly tries to explain Sisyphus to classmates who have apparently never heard of him* I wish you guys could get how ironic this is.
@KyleMcDowell86: DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
@Brampersandon_: First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage.
@drinksmcgee: Someone just told me that they hate bacon... I can't even find words... It's like someone just murdered a rainbow.