@NicCageMatch: I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911.
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@minafisheyes: Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up.
@huntigula: [mob about to stone a sinner] JESUS: Stop! Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. [mob drops rocks] JESUS: [picks up rock]
@CornOnTheGoblin: scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way me: every way? [my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit