@envydatropic: I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English
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@juanadog: Saw a sign on the highway that said "Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money...
@shariv67: I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.
@maughammom: Why is mild cheddar even a thing? Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market?