@envydatropic: I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English
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@TheCatWhisprer: REPORTER: *asks question* POLITICIAN: that's a great question and thank you for asking it *answers a different question*
@elvisknievil: My plan to reduce shark attacks. Get them hooked on meth. Getting gummed by a toothless shark probably tickles.
@2014longview: If you carry a baseball bat in your car, you should carry a glove too. Your lawyer will thank you.