@Black__Elvis: I accidentally shot my girlfriend on a hunting trip because I mistook her for a deer in an orange vest drinking a Diet Coke.
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@Crunch11b: Every time someone says, "at least it's a dry heat," I want to stab them with a box cutter. *at least it's a short knife.
@AskAuntieEm1: Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
@TheBlessMess: My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture.