@t0shiba: I accidentally took a woman's multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs.
@BillCorbett: To celebrate Independence Day I'm finding Englishmen and then walking angrily away from them!
@jamespianka: "And the award for Most British Name goes to..." *Benedict Cumberbatch takes a sip of gin with his eyes closed* "Helena Bonha-" *spews*