@t0shiba: I accidentally took a woman's multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat
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@JohnDuffy21: Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom.
@Tierno158: My motto is "Grab Life by the Balls." As you might imagine, being dyslexic, I spend a lot of time apologizing to guys named "Leif."
@TwoSapphiresBlu: My kids are teenagers, and I've found the same thing fixes their bad moods as when they were toddlers: a snack and a nap.
@Malocallidus: What if Daft Punk is just a couple of rad old ladies who met in knitting club and shared a love of sick beats?