@KalvinMacleod: I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band.
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@iRowlf: I bet the skeletons, in my gay coworker's closet, are having a dress up party with fabulous clothes.
@SexytotheNorth: *Snowstorm on it's way* America - we need to stock up on bread and milk! Canadians - better hit the beer store.
@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior" all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"
@TheSharona06: [Divorce court] Her: I found his Twitter account. I want a divorce. Judge: He was cheating? Her: No, he was doing inspirational tweets.