@tastefactory: I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*
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@SteveSuckington: National product once got caught picking his nose and eating it thus forever being known as gross national product.
@Jacob_Swift16: You know you're the family addict when it's time to light birthday candles & everyone looks at you knowing you have a lighter in your pocket
@Neauxpe: If you post a selfie that says "because some of you asked for a new one" I want to see screenshots of where they said that.