@tastefactory: I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*
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@WhatevaConc: If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news.
@isabelzawtun: Pigeons are the dandelions of the animal kingdom: unappreciated, plentiful, and when you give a bouquet of them to ur mom she won't like it
@M3lissaMcDonald: I just spent the last four hours connecting all of my watches together to make a belt. Complete waist of time.
@WilliamAder: Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.