@momTruthBomb: I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target today and, long story short, I'm covering for Debbie this weekend.
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@markedly: PERSON: I'm exhausted! ME: Me too! What'd you do? PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You? ME: I talked to like 4 people.
@SarahFemme: I hope at my funeral someone has the foresight to bring a Ouija board so I can live tweet Hell.
@Tommytoughstuff: That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy.
@armyVet1972: I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV.