@Izianikapani: I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache.
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@seanforhire: if aliens attack we will probably be fine unless they realize how easily we are influenced by traffic cones
@iAmJuddy: Wifey: We should get a chest freezer. Me: We don't need a freezer that big. Wifey: What if we need to hide bodies? Me: I love you.
@TheDjinnTrials: If used correctly, Twitter can be used as an antidepressant. Just don't take it as a suppository.