@Izianikapani: I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache.
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@SCbchbum: Seriously, if I were a manager at Burger King, my answer to every complaint would be, “You’re at Burger King.”
@RyanSaysWords: The Foo Fighters did a really good job, because I haven't had to deal with any Foo in years.
@DRUNKdadding: "Sure, you can wear shorts to preschool today." -the reason I am sleeping on the couch right now