@JohnLyonTweets: I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there's plenty of blame to go around.
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@trojansauce: [me on my death bed after being trampled at a one direction concert] please tell people it was auto erotic asphyxiation
@GaryJanetti: Next season on Game of Thrones they're actually going to come to your house and start killing the people watching.
@Book_Krazy: *Takes off clothes *Enters meeting room naked *Coworkers gasp in horror *Slowly backs out of room [whispers] "you said debriefing"