@LuvPug: I adopt cats because I can't have any of my own.
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@HallpassCanada: Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn.
@AnkCoupleTO: [almost at the moon] Buzz: *explosive diarrhea* DID YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE TANG, ARMSTRONG? Neil: *steals speech out of his pocket* nope
@hythemafia: My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure... ..So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die